It's like a parade of train wrecks.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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