i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
4 words: hood of his car
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
