I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize