I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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