i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
