idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
