my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
