My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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