For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
