What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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