I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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