My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
