Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
