I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
