My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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