They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
