We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize