btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize