I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
