i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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