I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
