Kiss
Puke
Can Purell be used as lube?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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