clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
