Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
