So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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