I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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