Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize