I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
