You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
