i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
And then he peed in my hair
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