Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
