Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
