I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
