my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
