someone owes me an orgasm
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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