@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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