something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
