I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
