Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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