Umm I'm too high to move.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
