Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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