KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
