but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
its liver damage thursday
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
