If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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