he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
