help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
