ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
