he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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