Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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