tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she peed on how many people?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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