BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Found the puke drawer
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
