I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize