No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
