im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
