She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
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the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
