I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
