youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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