So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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