My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
