i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
