yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
