Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
